The Ansem the Wise Manual
by LemonSmoothie
Summary: Congratulations on the purchase of an ANSEM the WISE unit.


"The ANSEM the WISE Unit Manual"

Disclaimer: I do not own any Kingdom Hearts characters. They are copyright Square and Disney.

Author's Note: I love the "Character Manual" stories, yet they seem to be all for the Organization characters. Seeing the lack of a DiZ/Ansem the Wise manual and general dearth of fic about him, I decided to write a character manual for him. Enjoy!

Congratulations on the purchase of an ANSEM the WISE unit! Please read these instructions carefully for optimal operation of your model.

Contents

Each ANSEM the WISE unit comes with:

One "King" outfit: one white dress shirt, purple ascot, white lab coat, red sash, black pants, and boots.

One "DiZ" disguise – bandages, neck wrap, red cloak, gray suit, boots, pouches.

One economy-size box of sea-salt ice cream bars (36-count)

One small library of books on philosophy, biology, art, and other disciplines.

One computer. Sim Twilight Town is pre-installed.

Programming

Your ANSEM the WISE unit can perform several functions:

Researcher: ANSEM the WISE units are avid scientists. Unlike the XEHANORT unit, they will stop research if they find it is dangerous.

College Professor: As a former king, ANSEM the WISE was very well educated. He may find teaching rewarding and worthwhile. Warning: he will be a hard grader and will not tolerate plagiarism.

Government Official: Again, as a former king, ANSEM the WISE knows how to lead people. However, he has low tolerance for sleaziness and disobedience, so it may be wise to keep him from other politicians.

Companion: ANSEM the WISE units may seem solitary at first glance, but they enjoy social interaction. Take him to lectures, operas, movies (he generally prefers war epics and historical dramas), restaurants (especially fine establishments), museums, and planetariums.

Modes

Inquisitive Mode: (default) This mode is characterized by a deep desire to know things. Your ANSEM the WISE unit will start out withdrawn, but as he gets more comfortable around you, he will become more open.

Annoyed Mode: This mode is unlocked when something bothers your ANSEM the WISE unit.

Angry Mode: This mode is unlocked when the ANSEM the WISE unit spends a prolonged time in Annoyed Mode or something provokes him. Distracting him with books, discussing an interesting subject, or watching the stars will help him get back to Inquisitive Mode.

Depressed Mode: This mode is activated when your ANSEM the WISE unit reminsces about the loss of his beloved Radiant Garden. See Frequently Asked Questions for how to get him out of Depressed Mode.

Drunk Mode: This mode is activated when you give your ANSEM the WISE unit alcohol or he purchases some. He will slur his words, rant about "ungrateful brats", and stagger. ANSEM the WISE units have a high tolerance for alcohol, so alcohol poisoning is unlikely. Let your ANSEM the WISE unit sleep it off, then give him aspirin for his hangover.

Compatibility With Other Units

KING MICKEY units are highly compatible with ANSEM the WISE units. Once together, your ANSEM the WISE unit and a KING MICKEY unit will spend hours discussing philosophy and other topics, drinking, eating sea-salt ice cream, and watching the stars.

NAMINÉ units: NAMINÉ units will be tolerated by ANSEM the WISE units, yet your ANSEM the WISE unit will never truly accept NAMINÉ units or any NOBODY units due to his beliefs that NOBODY units were not meant to exist. Disobedience on a NAMINÉ unit's part will cause the ANSEM the WISE unit to enter Annoyed Mode, so keep interaction to a minimum.

SORA units: Interaction between these two units is limited, but ANSEM the WISE units respect SORA units and will trust them with their lives.

RIKU units: ANSEM the WISE units start off cold to RIKU units, but will eventually come to respect them.

ORGANIZATION XIII units: See "Contraindictions."

Contraindictions

First and foremost! Keep your ANSEM the WISE unit away from any and all ORGANIZATION XIII units!

ANSEM the WISE units do not take kindly to betrayal. If you attempt to harm or throw away your ANSEM the WISE unit, it will run away and may eventually return to seek vengeance on you.

Do not try to take away your ANSEM the WISE's sea salt ice cream bar(s) or cut off his supply. This will unlock Angry Mode.

Frequently Asked Questions

My ANSEM the WISE unit seems depressed and is brooding. He's been doing this for hours! When will he snap out of it?!

Oh, dear. Your ANSEM the WISE unit has entered Depressed Mode. Bring in a KING MICKEY unit to cheer him up or attempt to cheer him up yourself. If a KING MICKEY unit cannot be found and/or your attempts to cheer him up fail, take him to a psychiatrist who will promptly prescribe him some antidepressant pills.

My ANSEM the WISE unit won't stop giggling while reading stuff on his computer. What is so amusing?

Your ANSEM the WISE unit has discovered and is laughing at what has befallen the Organization XIII, ie crazed yaoi fangirls! The yaoi fangirls' attempts to force the Organization personnel into awkward relationships and the Organization's subsequent character defamation lawsuits amuse the ANSEM the WISE unit greatly. If his laughter annoys you, distract him with a new book.

My ANSEM the WISE unit is draining my bank account! He buys new books every day, demands fine food and wine, and how could anyone buy this much ice cream in one month...(rant rant rant)...?

One side-effect of being a former king is expensive tastes. Threaten to confiscate his books if he doesn't watch his spending.

I ordered an ANSEM the WISE unit, but I received a silver-haired man who rants about darkness nonstop and sounds oddly like the guy from _Titanic. _

You have received a XEHANORT'S HEARTLESS unit by mistake. He has been known to call himself "ANSEM." Send it back, and we will send you an ANSEM the WISE unit.

I own both an ANSEM the WISE unit and a RIKU unit. My ANSEM the WISE unit seems sleepy and is showing a lack of interest in food, drink, and his studies. My RIKU unit plays loud heavy metal music all day. Is this normal? I thought they were compatible units.

Your RIKU unit's music is keeping the ANSEM the WISE unit awake at night and disturbing his sleep, as well as triggering Annoyed Mode. Turn down the RIKU unit's music.


End file.
